..:No time like Now:..

For some reason, the past few entries have been deleted. Must be server problem. Somehow I realised I always return to this space regardless of how long I kept it hanging. A force always draws me back here. I believe its the seven years of entries that I can't bear to part with. Someday I will get round to saving every single entry onto my computer manually.

YOG has ended. Even though I have not followed closely to the reports nor have I been keeping track of the sporting events but I applaud those who made this a success. Throughout, I hear critisms of the event. And rarely do I hear a word of praise for people who toiled hard behind the scenes making sure the event run smoothly. The importance of saikang warriors. Without their enthusiasm, I think many things couldn't be done. These are the people who don't get recognition but without them, you will feel helpless as things would not be done.

Recently I was thinking, what do one do when he/she is unhapy. Not replying to any calls, messages, IMs. I think it reached the extent of being rude. No matter how unhappy you are, I think it is simple courtesy to at lesat reply that you are fine or at the very least alive but you want to be alone. I would respect that. Ignoring is not the way to react to people who are worried about you. We all meet with situations where the world comes crashing down on us. But we have to be responsible, there are people to answer to. Yes that is a restriction and people might say that its my life, I decide how I want it to be. I guess I still strongly believe in that freedom is the ability to do anything you want within restricted boundaries. Freedom is not doing whatever you feel like as and when you deem fit.

喜欢一个人应该是很快乐的。我从来未曾承认过。就因为这次认真的所以更痛。我一再的确认就因我不愿意放弃。可是，我现在累了。是时候放手。也许会很痛，但是还是在还没付出更多感情时先离开。我试过。

我一次一次的问，可是还是得到一样的回答。不管是否是真的，我都不愿意继续了。因为那个答案并不重要。重点是那是你要给我的回答。我尝试无条件的相信你，可是很报歉，我做不到。你有你的不敢，我又何曾没有。真的该放手了。

Not owing one an explanation doesn't mean we pointedly refuse to explain. Explanation is clears up the air, or does it not?

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

RV big walk is an event that I did not regret attending even though I have to wake up early to reach the west coast campus at 730. But I would say that it is all worth it. Though we only walk the 2.6k and took shuttle bus for the rest of the distance. But as I hear the school song being played when the RV flag is being raised, it was a sense of pride. Because I am proud to be an rvian. During our 4 years there, we might have whined or raved or complained about the school, the rules, the regulations, but I believe most of us miss RV and is proud to have graduated from there. Like what Mrs Look say, "RV is a school that you wish to leave when you are there and a place you will miss when you leave". Today I fully understood this line.

All the familiarity as we made our way to the campus. The taking of bus 51, walking the same path towards a school gate that no longer is RV still bring back memories. And listening to what people say on the bus:
A: 以前51不是有弯到学校前面的吗？
B: 有，很久很久以前。
C: 在我们还在读书的时候。

Things have changed. The place have changed but the sentiments remain. Judging by the huge turnout by the rv alumni, it is undeniable that we all still feel a sense of belonging to the school. Seniors who have graduated many years before still came back for the event. Those 4 years have been happy days, filled with fun and laughter. The sheltered environment that rv provided forge strong bonds between us. And I guess that's what matters.

海云漫漫 碧波荡荡
赤道绿洲 有我学堂
春风化雨 桃李成行
立德立功 化愚化顽
愿我学子 勿忘勿忘
他日我校 光芒万丈
愿我学子 勿忘勿忘
他日我校 光芒万丈
与日月争光兮
与天地共久长